And then you remember . . .

Time really does heal a lot. It honestly gives you time to "forget" things you will never really forget.

The other day I was told about something that is currently happening with the addict in my life and how he treats his "new". Something that he says. I had this disorienting moment of "What?" And then I was taken back in time to what felt like every single disagreement we had when he would say the same thing to me.

Sometimes the memories come out of the blue. Pictures, court documents, old friends. Something will remind me and for a moment it's like I am right back in that frusterating moment.

Sometimes this remembering is good, because it 1) reminds me of exactly how things were 2) shows me how far I've come.

Sometimes this remembering is bad, because 1) so much of it shouldn't have happened in the first place and I don't want to spend my time thinking about it, 2)it is disturbing.

But remembering is part of life. And it helps us a lot, to grow and learn and move toward the future.

At the same time, I don't want to relive some of those memories. I purposefully don't sit and think about how it felt to be treated like that.

So why post about this? If remembering is normal, who cares? Well, there is a group I am a part of where a lot of people share about dealing with the memories when they come up. And it disturbs them, when memories they didn't want to remember suddenly pop up again. They ask about how others deal with these memories.

Honestly, there are 3 ways I generally deal with them.

1) If it is a good memory, I file it away in my mind under "at least there is a good memory to remember."

2)If it is a bad memory, I file it away as "Proof of what was going on."

3) If it is a memory that I don't want to remember, I say a prayer to help that memory not pop up.

How do you deal with the sudden memories?