In case of fire, use the stairs?

When there is a fire, you aren't supposed to take the elevator.

You are supposed to take the stairs, and keep moving.

They even put up signs that say this very thing!!!!

Dare I suggest that it is the same thing for our trials?

Do we need to give healing, growth, and goals their due diligence? Take the time and focus needed to get it right? Of course keep moving, but doing it with purpose?

This is just my opinion, but...

Of course there are times we need to move fast, even in times of trial.  Just make sure you are holding on to the rail, either way. :) 

My personal rail is made up of prayer, scripture study, family, and hope.

What do you think? Are you a stairs or elevator kind of person?

And what is your rail made up of?

When Church and prayer seems like the worst, remember it's the best.

There is a certain amount of peace that comes from going to church. I love to learn about a God who loves me and a savior that loves me so much that he would give his life for me. I love to learn ways that I and my family can be happier.

But sometimes those things make it HARD to go to church, too!

Soon before my divorce process started, things at home were rough. To say the least. It was traumatic, it was sad. During that time it was hard to go to church because I felt like all I did at church was try not to cry. I'd hear a song that reminds me that Heavenly Father will support me during my trials... and I'd cry. I'd hear a lesson on marriage... and I'd cry. I'd feel the peace that comes with going to church ... I'd cry. I'd feel the peace of praying... I'd cry.

You get the point. Generally it wasn't full out crying, but trying NOT to.

I basically went to church and continuously tried not to cry.

But I went anyway. Because I knew that feeling that peace and crying because I felt loved was better than not going and not feeling the peace of going to church and still crying anyway. I still needed the truth I learned at church, I still needed that help.

And eventually it got easier. And then easier turned into easy. Going helped to boost me up.

Of course I still run into things that remind me of heartache. And that is hard. But then I turn to God again and he helps me through it.

I think that is why some people have a hard time praying or attending church, even when they know it is true. Because, especially with praying, you put your self out there and feel vulnerable. This can sometimes seem scary when you are just trying to hold it all together.

But remember that church, prayer, reflection, taking a deep breath, resting, its all there to help you and sort things out.

Use these tools to help you get through your trials and find some peace. Do it now so that you save yourself some pain and heartache later.

If you could do something to help ease your pain, wouldn't you?

Moving along in your healing does not mean that you don't have a heart anymore.

The other day I found myself with a great opportunity to get rid of something.

My old car. 

This car had seen me through some good times. I had this car in college. I had this car when I got married. 

But this car had also seen me through some very, very bad times. I was sitting in this car when I got some of the worst news of my life. I sat in the passenger side seat, horrified at the news I was getting. I felt like my world was falling apart around me.

The car was also not in good shape.

For starters, it was beat up really badly. Let's just say it had gotten into a lot of accidents while someone else was driving it. 

Case in point:

Someday I'll come up with a really redneck caption to put on this photo. If you think of one, let me know.

And then one day the car just stopped working. I did some research and it was barely worth the scrap metal price, so that's what I took for it. In fact, I think in the end I got less than scrap metal price. 

I had a mix of emotions watching that car go. 

I was glad to see it go, glad to see the broken down junker out of my driveway. Glad to see this taped together reminder of a cataclysmic event in my life sent to be used for good. Maybe it will end up being a play ground or bench or something. 

But thinking about the car so much brought back every emotion associated with it, good and bad. 

And so I cried.

I think it was a release of emotion that only getting rid of that car would bring. 

I mourned the good times, I mourned the bad times.

And then I let it go. This car represented a clash of two worlds for me. One good, one bad. And I was ready to move on.

Moving along in your healing does not mean that you don't have a heart anymore. I think this is important to remember.

On a side note, if any car manufacturers want me to drive around their fancy, non-taped up cars so that I can do a review of it on my blog, I guess I'd be willing to help them out. 

No, I am not stranded or anything like that, but you can't blame me for trying. :) 

Because, of course, car manufacturers are my top readers here. ;)

What is a Trigger?

You may have heard someone refer to a trigger as it relates to addiction. What does that mean?

According to http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/trigger it's:

"an event that stimulates initiation of a 

subsequent event or process."

There is also a really good definition of trigger that you can find here: psychologytoday.com . It has some good thoughts on triggers, though I don't know if I agree on the rest of the article. This is not an endorsement of any kind.

So, basically, a trigger is anything that starts a process. So. . . if an addict always turned to his or her computer after being yelled at by their boss then I suppose being yelled at by their boss would turn into their trigger. Or would it be anger or opposition to authority? 

Get the picture, though? An example they give in the article is that hearing a song you used to get high to could be a trigger. It is something that puts them back into their addict mindset.

The first time I heard the term "trigger" in reference to the spouse of an addict, I was confused. What do triggers have to do with the spouses? Aside from "trigger" being a general word that can basically be applied to anything that starts a reaction. 

I learned that spouses of addicts can have their own triggers. For example: if an spouse of an addict sees his wife texting, it could cause him to worry and stress because he's wondering who is on the other end of that conversation? Is it him? The other man? 

Another example: The spouse of an addict and her husband go to a neighborhood pool party and one of their neighbors is wearing a bikini. As a result the spouse stews the whole night about what is going on in her husband's head. Is he focusing on the neighbor?

I learned that recognizing your triggers can help you work through them.

The other day I read an article in which the poster warned that it might not be a good read for survivors of abusive relationships because it could contain triggers. So in other words things that remind them, things that put them back into that mindset.

So that is what a "Trigger" is.