From "Normal" to "Psycho" in one step?

Warning: This post may contain triggers for the spouse of an addict.

On any given month, week, day, you can find stories on the news about heinous crimes. Sexual assault, rape, violence, murder. It's becoming more and more common. 

And what do we, the general public, say? That the perpetrator is a "creep." A "psycho." We shake our heads in disgust, saying that their actions are evil. 

You can probably think of multiple cases where you yourself felt like this. That what you were hearing about the attacker is gut wrenching and twisted. How could someone get that far? How could someone cross those lines and do that to another human being? 

Pornography, bdsm, and all of their deep, twisted forms are excused away as "normal" until someone acts out on them and hurts someone. Then all of a sudden that person goes from being "normal" to a "creep."

You hear that a man is into a heavy bdsm fetish, or some of pornography's darker sides, and people describe that man as "just being a guy" "doing manly things" "expressing himself" "normal" "every body does it" "Free speech."

And then he acts out on what he's been looking at, he follows through with the things he's been saying, someone gets hurt, and then suddenly everyone says he's a "creep," "perp" "Sicko" "Psycho."

Make up your mind, society. Is it a problem or is it not? When someone goes out, rapes and kills someone it is described as "heinous." And it is, right? But people don't just get to that extreme automatically. There are steps to get there, paths that must be followed for someone to go that deep. We need to label those steps and actions as heinous as well. 

Simply put, you can't say that the first step is just "a man thing" and the next step is "evil."

Day 5: The "Physical scars of abuse"

If there is any possible way that you aren't convinced of the horrible circumstances surrounding abusive relationships, follow the link below.

I found this project (Cosmetic and Reconstructive Support) on the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence's website. They work in partnership with a medical association to help reconstruct a victims head, neck and arms.

Here is a quote from their information sheet:

"The NCADV works in partnership with a medical association to assist survivors of domestic violence who cannot afford the cosmetic and reconstructive surgery needed to repair the injuries they have received from a spouse or intimate partner. Facial plastic surgeons from across the country volunteer their services to assist survivors in removing the physical scars of abuse."

The fact that this is even a needed service, that this is out there at all is tragic. That there is a whole project dedicated to helping people get the surgery they need to help repair their abuse injuries. That some spouses and intimate partners out there inflict this kind of damage on a person is horrible.

Here is the link: 

http://www.ncadv.org/programs/cosmetic-surgery

Day 4: Statistics on Victims of Domestic Abuse

= Victim!!!!!!!!!!

The graphic above portrays Anastasia from 50 Shades. She is the victim in an abusive relationship. The real stories of victims in 50 Shade type relationships are living through their own little type of Hell.

For today's post on domestic violence victims, I thought I'd share some statistics. Follow the links for more.

These are so sad.



These Stats are from the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (http://www.ncadv.org/learn/statistics)

• "On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. During one year, this equates to more than 10 million women and men"

• "Intimate partner violence accounts for 15% of all violent crime."

• "72% of all murder-suicides involve an intimate partner; 94% of the victims of these murder suicides are female."

• "Almost half of female (46.7%) and male (44.9%) victims of rape in the United States were raped by an acquaintance. Of these, 45.4% of female rape victims and 29% of male rape victims were raped by an intimate partner"

• Physical, mental, and sexual and reproductive health effects have been linked with intimate partner violence including adolescent pregnancy, unintended pregnancy in general, miscarriage, stillbirth, intrauterine haemorrhage, nutritional deficiency, abdominal pain and other gastrointestinal problems, neurological disorders, chronic pain, disability, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), as well as noncommunicable diseases such as hypertension, cancer and cardiovascular diseases. Victims of domestic violence are also at higher risk for developing addictions to alcohol, tobacco, or drugs

The Following Stats are from an article at the Huffington Post:  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/23/domestic-violence-statistics_n_5959776.html

• 3 women are murdered every day by a current or former male partner in the U.S.

• "4,774,000 - The number of women in the U.S. who experience physical violence by an intimate partner ever year."

Day 3: Recognizing a Potential Abuser

=Abuser!!!

Here is an awesome article on WebMD on recognizing a potential abuser.

http://www.webmd.com/women/features/domestic-abuse-recognizing-potential-abuser-feature

It has a lot of good points and things to think about. Like how some potential abusers try to isolate you and push the relationship faster and faster.

I highly recommend this article!!!!!


Also, I found another article from the perspective of a victim. It's about a girl who found out her boyfriend had a pornography problem and then that problem escalated to abuse. Check it out:

http://fightthenewdrug.org/true-story-my-boyfriend-porn-addict-turned-abuser/#sthash.xlGCWvfl.dpbs

Day 2: The Power and Control Wheel

For todays post on the real victims of domestic and intimate abuse I am sharing the Power and Control Wheel. This was sent to me by Megan Walker from the London Abused Women's Center in London, Ontario. This wheel describes ways in which abusers gain and maintain power and control over a women.

Warning: if you are in any type of a relationship with an abuser or if you know someone in a relationship (so, in other words, everyone) this is kind of creepy to read. It is a very unsettling feeling to read this.


The Wheel Link- http://lawc.on.ca/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/power-and-control-wheel.pdf

The Website- http://lawc.on.ca/