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Thursday, May 7, 2015

Who's truth do you see in the mirror?

I'm going to get very personal here, more so than I usually do. Bear with me.

While I thoroughly believe that we all have infinite worth, remembering it is not always so easy.

A couple of years ago there came a point with the things I was dealing with in life where I had a hard time looking in the mirror. Because of what I felt my reflection symbolized. I didn't see me, I saw what I felt someone else I loved must see. It was... grotesque.

I saw the image of a girl that was disappointing and unsatisfying.

And, well, that's the truth about how I felt. Deep down I knew that I wasn't really gross, that I wasn't really ugly. But knowing that and practicing that are two different things.

And it made me sad. Sad because I hated that my self esteem had been hit so hard by someone else. Sad because I found I wasn't as strong as I thought I was. Why couldn't I have just let it roll off my shoulders? Why couldn't I have let the comments and actions  from that person go?

With time I have grown stronger. I now have a much thicker skin. But that thick skin was not an immediate thing. The more someone emotionally and mentally beats you down, you have a choice to make. Either you can fall under the blows or you can be realistic and see what they are doing for what it really is: bullying and lies.

Because seriously, that's all it is. Bullying and lies.

Do not go to anyone - I repeat ANYONE- else to discover your worth or beauty. It's great for your friends, your spouse, your parents to recognize your worth or to tell you that you look nice. But it isn't what's important. And frankly, don't go to yourself either. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies.

Whether you believe in God's creation or not, it's pretty obvious that we are miraculous. And NOTHING can change that.

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