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Friday, May 22, 2015

Moving along in your healing does not mean that you don't have a heart anymore.

The other day I found myself with a great opportunity to get rid of something.

My old car. 

This car had seen me through some good times. I had this car in college. I had this car when I got married. 

But this car had also seen me through some very, very bad times. I was sitting in this car when I got some of the worst news of my life. I sat in the passenger side seat, horrified at the news I was getting. I felt like my world was falling apart around me.

The car was also not in good shape.

For starters, it was beat up really badly. Let's just say it had gotten into a lot of accidents while someone else was driving it. 

Case in point:

Someday I'll come up with a really redneck caption to put on this photo. If you think of one, let me know.

And then one day the car just stopped working. I did some research and it was barely worth the scrap metal price, so that's what I took for it. In fact, I think in the end I got less than scrap metal price. 

I had a mix of emotions watching that car go. 

I was glad to see it go, glad to see the broken down junker out of my driveway. Glad to see this taped together reminder of a cataclysmic event in my life sent to be used for good. Maybe it will end up being a play ground or bench or something. 

But thinking about the car so much brought back every emotion associated with it, good and bad. 

And so I cried.

I think it was a release of emotion that only getting rid of that car would bring. 

I mourned the good times, I mourned the bad times.

And then I let it go. This car represented a clash of two worlds for me. One good, one bad. And I was ready to move on.

Moving along in your healing does not mean that you don't have a heart anymore. I think this is important to remember.

On a side note, if any car manufacturers want me to drive around their fancy, non-taped up cars so that I can do a review of it on my blog, I guess I'd be willing to help them out. 

No, I am not stranded or anything like that, but you can't blame me for trying. :) 

Because, of course, car manufacturers are my top readers here. ;)

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