If you came to my blog looking for a specific topic or area of my work, you may want to start by checking the page links above or by checking my topic list below and to the right.

Tuesday, February 27, 2018

"Sticks and Stones"

I love this picture. It is a tower of bubble wrap. I saw it and my mind immediately started coming up with ways to use it. Art projects? Packages? Just popping it for fun? The options are endless!

Bubble wrap . . . the ultimate protection for packages and storage.

Unfortunately, we can't use bubble wrap on our souls.

I know, that was deep.

But seriously, you know the old adage "sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me?" Totally not true. That saying is the ideal to strive for, the goal of one day being able to just shake it off.

In reality, words sometimes hurt more than actual injuries. And the damage done by them can take longer to repair sometimes.

However, there is good news. When you are hurting, physically or emotionally, you can always go and pop some bubble wrap. Works every time.

But seriously, how do you heal from word wounds? Well, for me, I just try to think of the source. If the person is notorious for being jerky or mean, then I try to remember that. You can't trust their opinion. Eventually, after so many jerky things said, you can ignore their jabs completely. Because who really cares what they think?

If someone came to you and said that a narcissist was telling them what a horrible person they were, what would you say? You'd tell them to ignore the person's comments and not take it to heart. If someone came to you and said that a liar was telling them what an awful spouse they were, what would you say? Of course you'd tell them that that person was lying!

So why can't you take your own advice? Why do you let that person, who you know doesn't have a good reputation of trust, get to you?

Be your own good friend and tell yourself the truth.

So then it really may be true that sticks and stones will break your bones, but words will never hurt you.

Monday, November 6, 2017

LifeStar Therapy is hosting a Facebook Live Event tomorrow, Tuesday November 7, 2017

I have great news! Tomorrow, November 7th, LifeStar Therapy is hosting a Facebook live event. For those of you who have read my blog or checked out my articles, you know that LifeStar is a great resource and help for those who are struggling with pornography and sexual addiction, as well as their families. So you don't want to miss out on this opportunity to hear from them.

LifeStar Therapy helps to treat the addict, as well as the trauma caused to the rest of the family from the addiction.

The following is a press release from LifeStar about their Facebook Live Event:

Pornography addiction can be devastating, not only to the addict but to their family as well. It’s much more common than you might think, however, and there are resources out there to give you hope.

Join us on November 7th, 2017, at 7 PM MST, for an exclusive Facebook Live event. This event is hosted by Lifestar Therapy, and we’ll be talking about how to take back your life, today. We’ll go over the science of porn addiction and why it can be so difficult to overcome. We’ll share the steps you can take to recover from a porn or sex addiction. Finally, we’ll talk about what to do if you discover that your spouse has a porn addiction.

Lifestar Therapy has over 25 years helping people from all walks of life overcome their addiction. We offer those suffering from porn addiction and their families a safe place to talk about their struggles with others like them.

When you are struggling with a porn addiction, or when you discover that a spouse or loved one is hiding a porn addiction, it can feel pretty lonely. But the truth is, there are many other people just like you who have gone through the difficult, long process of overcoming addiction. Repairing relationships, rebuilding self-esteem, strengthening bonds, and forming new habits all takes time and work, but it is worth it, and it is easier if you are surrounded by people who support you. There’s a whole community out there, waiting for you to connect and gather strength from them.

Follow this link or post the following into your browser so sign up for the live event:

Friday, October 13, 2017

From the water to the air

Have you ever heard of a naiad? No, I'm not talking about some mythological character. A naiad is an insect that can live for years, though some types only live for months. They live under the water. They eat small creatures, other insects, are pretty good at catching their prey. Great, great swimmers!

But a naiad is only the nymph (adolescent) stage of a particular insect.

After all that time swimming, the naiad crawls out of the water, sheds its skin, and boom! It's a dragonfly!!!

Yes, a dragonfly! You read that right. After potentially years of swimming, the dragonfly crawls out flies.

One day it has gills (according to the book I was reading) and the next day it is breathing air.

How cool is that!

Talk about an example of a great change!

Tuesday, October 10, 2017


This whole time I've been treating these like a weed! Next summer, I'm letting them grow wild and I'll set up a road side stand.

If I don't treat my lawn with anything next year can I call them organic too?

Ok, but on a serious note . . . really? ORGANIC dandelion greens? I guess it really is all about perspective.

Thursday, August 31, 2017

And then you remember . . .

Time really does heal a lot. It honestly gives you time to "forget" things you will never really forget.

The other day I was told about something that is currently happening with the addict in my life and how he treats his "new". Something that he says. I had this disorienting moment of "What?" And then I was taken back in time to what felt like every single disagreement we had when he would say the same thing to me.

Sometimes the memories come out of the blue. Pictures, court documents, old friends. Something will remind me and for a moment it's like I am right back in that frusterating moment.

Sometimes this remembering is good, because it 1) reminds me of exactly how things were 2) shows me how far I've come.

Sometimes this remembering is bad, because 1) so much of it shouldn't have happened in the first place and I don't want to spend my time thinking about it, 2)it is disturbing.

But remembering is part of life. And it helps us a lot, to grow and learn and move toward the future.

At the same time, I don't want to relive some of those memories. I purposefully don't sit and think about how it felt to be treated like that.

So why post about this? If remembering is normal, who cares? Well, there is a group I am a part of where a lot of people share about dealing with the memories when they come up. And it disturbs them, when memories they didn't want to remember suddenly pop up again. They ask about how others deal with these memories.

Honestly, there are 3 ways I generally deal with them.

1) If it is a good memory, I file it away in my mind under "at least there is a good memory to remember."

2)If it is a bad memory, I file it away as "Proof of what was going on."

3) If it is a memory that I don't want to remember, I say a prayer to help that memory not pop up.

How do you deal with the sudden memories?

Monday, June 12, 2017

Seeing yourself as forever

Do you see yourself as forever?

The world has a "who cares about the hangover" mentality, where people do whatever they want to, when they want to, and darn the consequences. It's a mentality that would have you ignore everything but this one moment.

But, in reality, we are forever beings. Our influence, our work, and ourselves will last long beyond this one moment. What we do today is important because it leads to tomorrow.

We matter. We are important. What we do matters, and what we do is important.

Monday, May 22, 2017

Be Clear

Of course fish don't eat quarters! Or at least they aren't supposed to . . . but this sign isn't quite clear on the subject. 

Maybe there is one specific fish that likes to eat quarters? Like one of those deformed fish from the Amazon? The kind that look like they spent too much time in radiation infested waters? 

Now obviously they mean for you to bring quarters to buy their fish food to feed the fish.

Or maybe not, it's unclear. :)