The spouse knows anyway

When trying to decide if you should tell your spouse about your addiction, consider the pretty good chance that they know anyway.

That's right. They may know anyway.

Sure, they may not know what is really going on, but they might know that something is terribly wrong. They may be asking themselves questions like:

Why can't we seem to get along?
Why is my spouse always to irritable?
Why can't we connect in our relationship?
Why do things feel so awkward between us?

So while they may not really know what is going on, they may know that something is going on. And no matter how many excuses they try to make in an attempt to try and fix your situation, none of them will work because they aren't being told the truth.

That isn't fair to your spouse, yourself, or your family.

Just a thought.

Question: "Should I tell my spouse that I am an addict?"

I've never been in the position of wondering what I should tell my spouse about an addiction, but I have been on the opposite side of being told by my loved one about their addiction.

My personal opinion? The answer is yes. You should tell your spouse.

That being said, being told about the addiction was one of the most awful experiences ever. I literally felt like the world around me was falling apart. The fact that things weren't actually falling down around me didn't match up to how I was feeling.

But then a great thing happened. After a good cry we came up with a plan. Being handed all that crap, while hard, was a good thing because the root of the problems we'd been having was now out in the open and we could look for applicable, honest help. Whereas before we couldn't make a plan to help our relationship because I had no idea what we were really dealing with.

Consider playing soccer, 2 against 2. If you don't tell your partner that you are playing soccer, then you won't get any help making goals or stopping the other team from making goals. Meanwhile, you are frustrated that you are losing the game and your partner has no idea why you are so upset or why things are stressed out. Because he or she doesn't even know they are playing the darn game!

Trying to work past an addiction is the same thing. In my opinion, take it or leave it, if you don't tell your spouse, your relationship may not get the healing it needs and he or she isn't going to know why things are so tense and stressed out.

You've got to tell your spouse that they are playing soccer!

I've met multiple wives who have told me that their marriage was better than ever after finding out about their husband's addiction because now they are on the same page and able to work together to find health and peace in their relationship.

That being said, it isn't going to be easy. You are telling your spouse about a betrayal, and they are going to take it that way. Getting through this is going to be hard, but so worth it.

If telling your spouse leads to more unrest in the relationship, then I still think it is worth telling. There were things in my situation that eventually threw our relationship under the bus, but I have always been grateful that the person told me. I have respect that they had the courage to tell me, and I think that was the absolute right decision.

You have to let your spouse make their own decisions based on what you tell them, but a relationship based on the truth, even if that truth comes hard, is always better than a relationship based on lies.

Anyway, that's my personal opinion from my personal experience.

What do you think?