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Thursday, June 16, 2016

Who else doesn't know where their kid is?

Does anyone else not know where their child is for the next month?

Let me explain.

My little sweetheart is on an extended visit with my Ex right now. And if there is one thing that my ex hates, aside from me, it's having to tell me anything. 

The other week I asked him about plans and he litterally started whistling. 

I even have sole legal and sole physical custody, and I still don't know where my sweetheart is.

I've mentioned before that divorce does not solve everything. I still have to deal with secrecy. I still have to deal with deceit (especially in the court room). And I still have to deal with personal attacks. I can't tell you how many times he's told me I'm a bad parent, that I'm crazy, that I'm stupid, that I'm whatever else he wants to call me that day.

Another thing I deal with on a regular basis is the misrepresentation of history. Being told that one thing happened when in fact I know that something else happened.

I mean, seriously? I was there. I saw and heard what happened. On some things I have texts, on some I have e-mails, on some I have computer files that prove my memory is correct. And still I am constantly told that something that isn't even close to the truth happened.

So, what do you do? In all of this, how do I deal with it?

I'll tell you. 1) I always stick to the truth. There will always be people in the world that want to convince you that the truth is a lie and that lies are truth. Don't let them. If you always tell the truth, then the truth is on your side and will help you. There is a peace and protection that only comes with telling the truth.

2) I try to always act respectfully. Even when I am disagreeing with something, or am frusterated. Your interactions can still be respectful durring those times. You can
't be resposible for how other people act, but you are responsible for how you react.

If the whole world would just 1) tell the truth and 2) handle things respectfully, then we would be so much better off.

Thursday, June 2, 2016

The sign said walk...

The sign said walk...

True story.

I was standing on the corner of an intersection, waiting for the little blue man to pop up on the crosswalk sign.

When he arrived, and the sign said it was safe for me to go, something else arrived as well.

A train.

A train!

A train arrived at the same time the sign told me to cross the intersection.

I believe this is commonly referred to as a conflict of interest.

Because last time I checked, sharing a crosswalk with a train was not a good idea.

And yet people metaphorically do this all the time. Like with pornography. I heard a gal on the radio yesterday defending the use pornography, even claiming that it had helped some couples.

And I'm sitting here thinking, can't you see the dang train coming down the track?

The train that will inevitably bring unrealistic expectations, a feeling of lessened self worth, and the chance at a raging addiction that takes you to more and more grotesque things with every stop.

At some point the metephorical pornography train makes a surprise appearance at everyone's crosswalk. Sometimes it's a picture that pops up on the internet, something on the tv, a not-so-good friend, or a spouse that brings it into the home.

And at that point, you will have to make a decision. Do you try to beat the train across the walk, do you try to get just close enough to see the train up close, or do you stay firmly on the sidewalk and refuse to play chicken.

If we are talking about an actual train, the answer seems obvious. You don't mess with the train, you stay on the sidewalk.

But talking about something more psychological and emotional, it is amazing how many people choose to try and beat the train.

You can't beat the train. Commit to staying planted on the sidewalk.