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Monday, May 4, 2015

A bit about me and how I got to Here.

Today I'm going to tell you a bit about me and where I am coming from.

I want to start out by saying, if you didn't know already, that I am divorced.

Gasp! Shock! "But you are so pro-marriage and working through the issues!" You say.

Which is true. If a marriage can be salvaged I think it should. Marriage is sacred to me. And I've been there. "There" as in the place where you throw all of your money, time and energy into trying to save your marriage.

"There" as in the place where just little glimmers of hope in your marriage bring you a ton of joy. You stress, you worry, you pray that everything will work out because you love this person. You hold tight to your love and hope and just keep praying. Praying that somehow your marriage will become stronger through all of it.

"There" as in the place where you'd give anything just to heal your marriage.

Yep, I've been there.

But I've also been here.

"Here" as in the place where you find out about what you didn't know before and suddenly everything changes.

"Here" as in the place where there really is no choice. "Here" is a place where a marriage has to end.

You don't easily get "Here." "There" might be a bad place for sure, no doubt about that. But I felt like "Here" was much much worse.

To get to "Here" a line has to be crossed, one that can't be crossed back over. There is no getting back to "There."

So where does that leave me? I will do anything to support those of you who are having a hard time while working through trials in your marriages. I also understand and want to support those of you who have had to deal with your marriage ending.

I think one of the biggest points here too is that one's healing from any kind of trauma does not end at the signing of divorce papers. I am still working through the things I experienced.

Whether you are married and going through ugly times or whether you are divorced after going through ugly times, we are all still having to work through the trauma. To work through the experiences.

It's all the same. We all have to give healing our due dillegence.

So, that is where I am comming from. I've been "There" and I've been "Here." I've had experience in both worlds. And I have many many friends in one world or another.

We are all dealing with the crud, and we all need to heal.


  1. I have always wondered how you got to be so passionate about the subjects you write on, I just didn't want to ask:)
    I think that's probably why you are so great to write on these subjects and share your thoughts, opinions and advice. Because you have been through it, and understand it. Makes you an incredible resource for others!!!