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Monday, November 17, 2014

Setting Boundaries

Setting Boundaries is a huge part of life. (And also dealing with a spouse's or your own addiction).

I was thinking about this yesterday after church and how we all have to set boundaries. For instance, one of my personal boundaries is that I simply do not drink alcoholic beverages. Now, that boundary is partially attached to my religious beliefs, but not all boundaries are. For instance, you might set boundaries at work or school. Like deciding that you won't go to the football game if you aren't getting your work done.

Lots of boundaries are there to help us. Like, the speed limit! Or when your doctor makes sure that you aren't taking medications that shouldn't be taken together. Or signs that say, "Road Ends, Beware of Cliff." I'm just saying.

Lot's of boundaries are extremely personal, and it is important to decide ahead of time  what your boundaries are. Like, what kinds of movies you are willing to watch or music you are willing to listen to.  What actions are you willing to participate in or not? Are there places you refuse to go to or people that you know you shouldn't be around? Decide now so that when you are faced with a dilemma you will know what your boundaries are.

Boundaries apply to every circumstance.

You might say, "I refuse to lie" or "I will not hang out with Joey because he always tries to get me to ignore my boundaries" or "I refuse to wait for more that two weeks before watching the latest Downton Abbey." Okay, that last one was silly. You get my point.

In addiction or dealing with a spouses addiction you may decide that "I refuse to miss a therapy session," or "I refuse to watch explicit movies." A spouse may decide that "I will not entertain worries that I am not good enough." We could talk all day on this subject, and there are things you can do to back your boundaries up here and help you stick to them. But holy cow, that's a whole other post.

So decide now what your boundaries are. That way when you are faced with a decision you will already know what your answer is.

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