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Monday, August 24, 2015
These girls just don't get it
Do you ever have an Aha moment?
Well, I had one of those moments a couple of weeks ago while reading a blog post on alicross.com. As she points out, the porn system has changed in recent years to include material that is instigated, produced and distributed by young girls. I knew this before, but I had never had it hit me quite like it did while reading this post.
Ack! Gone are the days where the young girl has to travel to the slimy part of town, praying that no one she knows sees her. Now all a young girl has to do is pull out her cell phone, link to the Internet and voila! Instant moral defecation!
What kind of message does that send to our young boys? No longer can parents say that that isn't indicative of what women are truly like. No longer can parents say that girls don't like it when boys look at that kind of stuff. Because even though these statements are as true as ever, the boys won't believe them. Why? Because why would Suzy from school post bad pictures if she wasn't OK with it? No one made her do it.
These girls are helping to ruin it for the rest of us.
What are these girls thinking? Truth is, they don't know he extent of the problem hey are perpetuating. They don't realize that they are helping to further men's addictions and that they are helping to hurt and ruin relationships, marriages, and families.
And, frankly, they probably don't get it. They don't understand the issue and the pain caused to both the addict and their families. Lots of these girls focus on the "girl power," the ability to "choose whatever they want to do with their body" without thought to how it will affect their futures or other people.
Maybe they will have their own Aha moments when they catch their husbands, a couple years down the road, looking at other girls' pictures online.
I love this quote from Author Ali Cross (who by the way is super awesome!)
"As a mom of boys, my perspective might be a little different. Because I think the tables are turned and while “girl power” is playing loud and clear from the sound system of social media, my boys no longer have a clear, unobstructed path to becoming the sort of men women want them to be." -Ali Cross at AliCross.com
Go check out her blog post at http://www.alicross.com/being-a-boy-in-the-instashame-world/
And help your daughters to understand the extent of the problem. They are not just sporting their bodies, they are supporting a maniacal world of family-destroying material.
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Thanks for "getting it", Jenelle. I had a lot of push-back from moms of girls on this one ... mainly that girls aren't responsible for what boys THINK when they look at them.
ReplyDeleteThe whole "a woman doesn't ask to be raped when she dresses sexy and to blame her is to excuse the immoral behavior of the rapist" argument. And I'm ... conflicted. I'm not naive, either--I HAVE been raped--but I also think we ALL have responsibility. If I'm drinking, at a party, coming on to whomever, and I'm raped, I DO think I bare some of the responsibility. If my daughter posts pics of herself pushing up her boobs and kissing into the camera--and the boy who takes her out on a date thinks those boobs are fair game and reaches for them ... I DO think she basically invited him to do it.
On the flip side, I'm doing all I can to teach my teenage sons that women are more than what's on the outside ... but man, it's hard when practically every single girl they know is on Instagram celebrating everything she is on the outside.
Gah. This is so hard!
I'm so sorry for the push-back you've gotten on this. Everyone wants to pawn their responsibility and accountability off on someone else. Of course the boy who rapes a girl is completely responsible for his actions. But the girl who poses in risque pictures for the camera is responsible for her own actions as well.
DeleteAnd, frankly, immodesty is a part of the problem. Most women who wear plunging necklines, see through shirts and underwear-shorts do it because they want to get a particular reaction out of the men. Well, if you are going around trying to get a reaction out of someone you will most likely get it. But then so many of these women show anger at the men and tell them to keep their thoughts to themselves.
They can't have it both ways. Are they wanting the reaction or are they not?
And yes, Gah!