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Friday, July 31, 2015

His or her addiction is NOT about you. Individual worth Week, Day 5

A couple days ago I wrote a post that was all about you. Today I am writing a post on why it is not all about you. Today I am focusing on the Spouses of pornography/sex addicts, though I am sure everyone can relate to this in some way.

But before we talk about addiction, let's set the record straight in some other areas.

The Number 5, while very visible, has nothing to do with the moving of the minute hand. The hands will spin no matter what the #5 does or does not do. In fact, we could remove the number 5 and the minute hand will still move around the face of the clock. 

It is NOT the #5's fault that the minute hand moves.
It's NOT about the #5. 
It's about the batteries in the back of the clock.

This candle is sitting on tile. But no matter what kind of floor the candle sits on, it can still be lit.

It is not the tile's fault that this candle can be lit. 
It isn't about the tile or any other kind of floor. 
It's about the candle bowing to the match and fire.

The same pole that holds up and supports the flag cannot determine if the flag waves in the wind.

It's not the pole's decision if the flag waves.
It isn't about the pole.
It's about the wind and lack of starch.

Hamilton's image has no idea that this bill is worth $10. The Government could decide to put Captain Picard's picture on this bill, and it would still be worth $10.

Hamilton has no idea that the bill is worth $10. He's just a picture.
It isn't about Hamilton.
It's about who the government decides to put on the bill. They can make their own choices.

It's not the consumer's fault that the milk on this box looks delicious when really it is probably glue.

Seriously, it looks real!

The chocolate in these indoor smores could be old and stale, and it would not be the marshmallow's fault. They are two separate things. And while the end product, the smores, might suffer, the marshmallows are still fresh and delicious.

The marshmallow's have to deal with the chocolate, but they do not cause the grossness.

This towel is blue. Being blue is a huge part of this towel. This towel is also dry. However, it is not the color blue's fault that the towel is dry. This towel could be red and it would still be dry.

It's not the color blue's fault that this towel is dry.
It isn't about the color blue.
It's about the towel having been dried.

The husband's pornography addiction is not the wife's fault. She could be someone else, have a different body type, pretend to be ok with things she isn't, and he would still have his addiction. She could change completely and he would still be an addict. A therapist once told me that an addict could be married to a porn star and he would still have the addiction. 

No amount of makeup, diets, or the wife's actions will get rid of the husband's addiction.

Because it isn't about the wife. 
It isn't the wife's fault that her husband is an addict.
It's about the addict and his addiction.

Your individual worth is great. And no matter what anyone else does or says, your worth will not change. There are always people who will try to make you think that your worth is lessening in an attempt to excuse away their own actions. 

This is ridiculous.

It's like blaming the #5 for the spinning of the minute hand. 

It's simply ridiculous.

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