I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but you pretty much stink at being trees. Maybe at one time you were pretty, but that time has passed. You aren't even worth the ground space that you take up.
You aren't beautiful, you aren't useful. In fact you are an eye sore.
In short, you are all worthless.
Everyone can clearly see that this tree is uglier than ugly. I mean, come on! Its trunk doesn't even grow straight! It's twisted and swirly, all uniform. Yuck!
There is no easy way to say this, but this tree has a crook in it. Totally not uniform.
This one is short.
Is that a knob?
You couldn't just grow upwards?
Trunks? There shouldn't be two.
And I'm deducting points for the tacky birdhouse.
This shade has holes in it.
Yup. Everyone can plainly see how worthless these trees are.
No value whatsoever.
Don't let anyone diminish the value of your tree. They obviously don't know what they are talking about.