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Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Lie #3: "Joining in your spouse's addiction will be helpful to your marriage"

This week we are looking at some of the lies told by pornography addiction. Today's Lie is: "Joining in your spouse's addiction will be helpful to your marriage."

Ugh. No, no, no. How many different ways can I say that this is NOT a good idea?

Let's see...

1. This is NOT a good idea.
2. Two wrongs don't make a right.
3. Don't support the thing that is messing with your marriage.
4. Don't support your spouse's pornography addiction.

I could go on and on.

Pornography is completely fake. It doesn't show healthy couples in healthy intimate relationships. It shows the opposite of that. You don't want to have your marital examples coming from exploited, coerced, or even trafficked relationships.

And how do you think you will feel after watching or acting out pornography? Better? Closer to your spouse?

Absolutely not.

The first time I heard about addicts who try to get their spouses to join in I was mortified. Don't go down that road, do not do that to yourself.


  1. I didn't even know this was a thing! I can't imagine anyone advocating drinking with your alcoholic spouse, so .... Nuts. Just nuts. I'm with you 100%!

    ali cross

    1. Good point! That is a really good analogy! Can I quote you?

  2. This is terrible, it makes me sick to think others do this and think it is okay!
    I know a woman who although it was not pornography, her husband decided he wanted to be gay. Somehow in the last year of their marriage he talked her into believing it was okay, and then convinced their kids. In short, they have a very messed up family right now, and the kids have suffered greatly. But it goes right with what you said, it's not okay to bring your spouse into your addiction to make you feel better about what your doing!

    1. I think many times a family goes into panick mode. They don't like the idea that there is something disruptive, so they just kind of glaze over it. Pretending that there is nothing wrong. Which makes it worse. Because if there is nothing wrong, then why stop?