I love when I hear stories of couples who have gone through the trial of a pornography addiction and were able to come out stronger and closer than they ever were before.
I know that, for whatever reason, that isn't always the case. It sometimes doesn't work out like that. Sometimes it can't. Sometimes there are even other factors involved. I know.
But sometimes I will hear people talking about how this marriage broke up, and that marriage broke up, etc. etc. etc. I always try to remind them that there are also those cases in which the couple is able to work it out. Is it easy? No. Even commiting to trying to work on a marriage with an addict is hard. That's the truth. It is hard. No way around it. But people do it all the time.
I also know very well that there are some situations in which divorce is the only choice. Can't think of one? You're lucky if you can't and I honestly wish I was you. I really hate divorce, though. And even in the cases where you don't have a choice, divorce is not easy. It is really hard. Really hard and really expensive. Monetarily, emotionally, time-wise expensive. It is what it is. And it's not fun.
I've done both. In my situation I found myself in what I consider to be two separate time periods. The time period when I was devoted to working it out, no matter the pain I was going through, and the time period when I realized that my situation was on a whole different level than I had previously realized. A lot of my experience comes from each of those time periods, which means I have been able to relate to many other situations that I hear.
I wish I couldn't. I wish that I hadn't gone through events that meant I could relate. But I did. And it has been a blessing in many ways to be able to speak with people and understand what they are telling me.
But, for the record and for all of the people that can relate to what I am saying, I truly hope that you find yourself in a position to be able to work things out in your marriage. To be able to find peace and happiness. I have met many people and heard of even more people who were able to work through this trial and end up, still working as always, closer to their spouses than they ever were before.
What an amazing thing to be able to do that. We do live in a day where pornography and sexual addiction is attacking our lives. Thank goodness we also live in a day where there are so many recourses fighting and supporting the help of those with these addictions.
Good luck, whichever of these situatins in which you may find yourself.