Someone once told me that an addict's mood may get worse before it gets better. Why? Because they may be going through withdrawals.
This was so frustrating to hear.
Because really, as spouses, you are already dealing with more crap than you ever thought you could handle. And, as addicts, I can imagine it's a bit of a scary jump. And, there's no way of sugarcoating this, but when someone is trapped in an addiction cycle they can be a bit of a . . . pill already. So to say that it could get worse is super scary.
One of the most frustrating things about this is that the spouse doesn't know if the addict is reacting to withdrawals or if his mood is still a reaction to the continuing addiction cycle. After the first few rounds of wondering this, only to find out that your spouse is not in fact having withdrawals? It's exhausting.
I guess this all makes sense though. It's like the Little House on the Prairie episode where Pa is helping the drunk become sober. Or the episode where Pa is helping Albert get off of drugs. In each case they get a lot worse before they get better.
I love Little House on the Prairie Analogies.
Just because it is normal for someone to get moody durring wihdrawals doesn't mean it's good. I think that addicts sometimes forget that everyone around them is also being dragged through this saga.
To the Addicts: Your spouses are probably hanging on by a thread as it is, they are tired, they are sad, they may be feeling rejected to say the least. Obviously they want you to "sober up," but keep their feelings in mind while you are doing it. You will be much better off in the long run if you remember this. And so will your spouse. It is a lot easier to be nice than it is to try and take things back afterword.