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Monday, December 22, 2014

It's not about being the bad guy

I love to read the comments that people make on my articles. Whether or not the person who commented liked my article, what their thoughts are, comments about their experiences. All that Jazz.

That being said, there are a couple of common misconceptions that frequently pop up in the comments. Today I am going to address one of these. The misconception that every time someone mentions an addict, they must be demonizing the addict and assuming they're a bad guy.

This is ridiculous. Seriously. Just because you mention that someone is an addict does not mean that you are making them out to be awful. Just because you say that they need to get help does not mean you are demonizing them. And just because you tell the honest truth and say that their decisions have led to traumatic consequences and have affected everyone else around them does not mean you are calling them a bad guy.

Now, there definitely are bad guys out there. Guys that do awful things on purpose. I am not saying that everyone is a good guy. I wish that everyone was a good guy, but unfortunately there are some bad news bad guys out there.

But, there are also good guys that have made some very bad choices and that suddenly realize they've tripped up somewhere. Choices that they now have to own up to and do some diligent work to try and counteract.

Basically, it is what it is. You may be a good guy, you may be a bad guy, I don't know. I am not saying you are either one. What I am saying is that there are some issues (like addiction) in which you need help to get through.

Speaking about the spouse of an addict and the trauma that they go through doesn't change a thing. The spouse's of addicts get torn apart and have unfathomable hardships thrown at them. Because of their spouse's addiction they suffer very unfair things. Is that to say that their spouse is a bad guy? Not necessarily. But they have made some very bad decisions which have undoubtedly led to some very bad consequences and those have to be addressed.

Here is a link to drive home the point:

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