LifeStar Therapy is hosting a Facebook Live Event tomorrow, Tuesday November 7, 2017

I have great news! Tomorrow, November 7th, LifeStar Therapy is hosting a Facebook live event. For those of you who have read my blog or checked out my articles, you know that LifeStar is a great resource and help for those who are struggling with pornography and sexual addiction, as well as their families. So you don't want to miss out on this opportunity to hear from them.


LifeStar Therapy helps to treat the addict, as well as the trauma caused to the rest of the family from the addiction.




The following is a press release from LifeStar about their Facebook Live Event:

Pornography addiction can be devastating, not only to the addict but to their family as well. It’s much more common than you might think, however, and there are resources out there to give you hope.

Join us on November 7th, 2017, at 7 PM MST, for an exclusive Facebook Live event. This event is hosted by Lifestar Therapy, and we’ll be talking about how to take back your life, today. We’ll go over the science of porn addiction and why it can be so difficult to overcome. We’ll share the steps you can take to recover from a porn or sex addiction. Finally, we’ll talk about what to do if you discover that your spouse has a porn addiction.

Lifestar Therapy has over 25 years helping people from all walks of life overcome their addiction. We offer those suffering from porn addiction and their families a safe place to talk about their struggles with others like them.

When you are struggling with a porn addiction, or when you discover that a spouse or loved one is hiding a porn addiction, it can feel pretty lonely. But the truth is, there are many other people just like you who have gone through the difficult, long process of overcoming addiction. Repairing relationships, rebuilding self-esteem, strengthening bonds, and forming new habits all takes time and work, but it is worth it, and it is easier if you are surrounded by people who support you. There’s a whole community out there, waiting for you to connect and gather strength from them.

Follow this link or post the following into your browser so sign up for the live event:


http://www.lifestartherapy.com/facebook-live-event/

From the water to the air

Have you ever heard of a naiad? No, I'm not talking about some mythological character. A naiad is an insect that can live for years, though some types only live for months. They live under the water. They eat small creatures, other insects, are pretty good at catching their prey. Great, great swimmers!


But a naiad is only the nymph (adolescent) stage of a particular insect.


After all that time swimming, the naiad crawls out of the water, sheds its skin, and boom! It's a dragonfly!!!


Yes, a dragonfly! You read that right. After potentially years of swimming, the dragonfly crawls out flies.


One day it has gills (according to the book I was reading) and the next day it is breathing air.


How cool is that!


Talk about an example of a great change!

Perspective

This whole time I've been treating these like a weed! Next summer, I'm letting them grow wild and I'll set up a road side stand.

If I don't treat my lawn with anything next year can I call them organic too?

Ok, but on a serious note . . . really? ORGANIC dandelion greens? I guess it really is all about perspective.

And then you remember . . .

Time really does heal a lot. It honestly gives you time to "forget" things you will never really forget.

The other day I was told about something that is currently happening with the addict in my life and how he treats his "new". Something that he says. I had this disorienting moment of "What?" And then I was taken back in time to what felt like every single disagreement we had when he would say the same thing to me.

Sometimes the memories come out of the blue. Pictures, court documents, old friends. Something will remind me and for a moment it's like I am right back in that frusterating moment.

Sometimes this remembering is good, because it 1) reminds me of exactly how things were 2) shows me how far I've come.

Sometimes this remembering is bad, because 1) so much of it shouldn't have happened in the first place and I don't want to spend my time thinking about it, 2)it is disturbing.

But remembering is part of life. And it helps us a lot, to grow and learn and move toward the future.

At the same time, I don't want to relive some of those memories. I purposefully don't sit and think about how it felt to be treated like that.

So why post about this? If remembering is normal, who cares? Well, there is a group I am a part of where a lot of people share about dealing with the memories when they come up. And it disturbs them, when memories they didn't want to remember suddenly pop up again. They ask about how others deal with these memories.

Honestly, there are 3 ways I generally deal with them.

1) If it is a good memory, I file it away in my mind under "at least there is a good memory to remember."

2)If it is a bad memory, I file it away as "Proof of what was going on."

3) If it is a memory that I don't want to remember, I say a prayer to help that memory not pop up.

How do you deal with the sudden memories?

Seeing yourself as forever

Do you see yourself as forever?

The world has a "who cares about the hangover" mentality, where people do whatever they want to, when they want to, and darn the consequences. It's a mentality that would have you ignore everything but this one moment.

But, in reality, we are forever beings. Our influence, our work, and ourselves will last long beyond this one moment. What we do today is important because it leads to tomorrow.

We matter. We are important. What we do matters, and what we do is important.

Be Clear

Of course fish don't eat quarters! Or at least they aren't supposed to . . . but this sign isn't quite clear on the subject. 

Maybe there is one specific fish that likes to eat quarters? Like one of those deformed fish from the Amazon? The kind that look like they spent too much time in radiation infested waters? 

Now obviously they mean for you to bring quarters to buy their fish food to feed the fish.

Or maybe not, it's unclear. :)

 

Jenelle vs. The Gopher: Round 1!

Did you know that I have gopher problems? And vole problems? Everyone has issues and trials, and one of mine is that there is a gopher living in my back yard.

If you haven't seen my dead rat post, visit: http://get2thegist.blogspot.com/2015/08/does-nasty-flat-rat-reflect-on-you.html

The neighborhood kids think it's cute. Me? Not so much.

But I don't have just any old gopher ailing me. This gopher is one of the most brazen, cocky, make-fun-of-me gophers in the universe.

Meet . . . actually, I haven't given him a name yet. Or maybe it's a her. Hmm. I'll have to come up with something.

But anywho, Meet . . . the gopher!

Maybe this is a vole? I don't know for sure, do you? Let's just assume it's a gopher.


In broad daylight he pokes his head above the ground and snickers at me. Yes, snickers. His annoying little whiskers twitch and his beady little eyes dart around, daring me to protest his existence.

Which, of course, I do.

This is our yard! Our garden! Our soil! And this lame little gopher, and the generations before it, have taken advantage of our hospitality one too many times!

No longer will our grass and flower beds be pocked with mounds of dirt! No longer will our vegetable plants, after months of hard labor, be sucked through the ground in one fatal swoosh! No longer will I be mocked!

Huzzah!

So, today I tried putting some hair down into the open gopher hole (we happened upon it creating an entrance to its evil lair), because I had heard that gophers don't like the smell of humans in their tunnel. 5 minutes later it had removed the hair and the dirt I covered it with.

So then I messed up his tunnel with my shovel.

Still didn't work, he came back.

......Augh!

And I have planted plants that the gophers and voles supposedly don't like. We usually don't have any problem with the gophers and voles in our onion patch, but today they came up right in the middle.

.......Augh!

Tune in next time to see episode 2: Jenelle vs. the Gopher; round 2!

On a related note, if you have any ideas of how to COMPLETELY get rid of gophers in your yard, let me know!!!!!!!!!

A little Confidence Can Go A Long Way!

Do you ever get jealous of those people who are so confident that the world just seems to wilt around them? That it doesn't matter what anyone thinks of them, they know their value.

I have some friends that I often look at and think, "Man! I wish I was that confident!"

Because confidence is beautiful! It makes you look strong, smart, and capable all at once!

It's like the peacocks in the picture above. The one is proudly showing it's feathers and winning the stare down with the other one, who is bowing to him.

Although, confidence can easily go the wrong way and make you seem cocky. That's not good. The picture below describes this perfectly. While the one male peacock is being confident . . . or is he being cocky? . . . and the other male peacock is bowing to him . . .

The female peacock couldn't care less! She's just in the foreground cleaning her feathers!

So who is more confident? The cocky peacock or the silent, I- could- care- less- about -your- drama, female?

Not all confidence looks the same. 

The Surprise Gorilla Attack

So there we were, at the zoo, checking out the gorilla cage. You know how everyone loves it when the animals come right up to the glass? Well that's what we saw as soon as we walked in. This massive gorilla was sitting right up by the glass.

We couldn't get right up close to it, unfortunately. There was a group of kids who were crowding the prized area.

One by one, and sometimes at the same time, all of the kids started tapping and hitting on the glass.

Boom. Boom. Boom.

The Gorilla did nothing.

Boom. Boom. Boom.

The Gorilla did nothing.

Boom. Boom. Boom.

Again, nothing.

-I think too often people do this with other things as well. They tempt it, get close, "play", figuring that nothing will happen. But, guess what happens when you do that?

So back to my story. The Gorilla just sat there, looking rather dull while those kids tapped on the glass.

All of a sudden, without warning, the Gorilla jumped to it's feet in a motion so fast that if you blinked you would miss it. It reared it's massive body into backward swing and threw itself against the glass. With one big "boom!" it slammed its forearm against the barrier and then pounded it's fist.

In one big motion, every single one of the kids that had taunted him jumped back in surprise.

Yeah.

Then, a bit more cocky, the gorilla went back to sitting quietly.

I wish I had gotten the whole thing on video!

One of the worst snow storms I've ever been in!

One of the worst snow storms I have ever been in was during a road trip a few years back. Out in the middle of the desert, the snow started to fall and quickly became a blizzard.

We were lucky, though. In front of us was a large semi truck to lead the way. Because seriously, we could barely see out the side windows, let alone the front.

Then, quite a while into this snow storm, we decided to go around the truck. I don't remember why we decided to go around it, but we slowly edged into the next lane and pushed ahead through the snow.

As soon as we pulled ahead of the truck, we wanted to die.

IT WAS BARELY SNOWING!!!!!!!!

We weren't in the middle of a snow storm! We had just been stuck behind a truck with so much snow on the top of it that it was blowing off behind it as it drove!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!!!!!!

At the time, it felt like one of the worst snow storms I had ever been in. In hind sight, it was the most pathetic snow storms I had ever been in.

But at the time we were just praying to get safely through the storm!

That's ok, whatever storm you are in needs its due diligence!

The Old Friend?

The addict in my life wasn't always "the addict in my life." Originally, I had the pleasure of calling this person "friend." We hung out, we saw each other at parties, we wrote letters to each other when this person moved out of the state for a number of years.


Sometimes I think back to that time period of our relationship when everything was light, fun, and adventurous and it is kind of a shock to my system. Things have changed so much between us, and it is hard to see the person I used to call "friend" when I'm being lied to and called names. My old friend wouldn't have treated me this way. I thought.


So now what? How do you reconcile the "addict in your life" with your past "friend?" Especially when you were more than just friends?


Honestly? I pray for this person. Things aren't great between us, but I still pray.


What do you do? How do you handle old friends and addicts?

Dead Deers and Pornography - Don't look!

(This Post was originally posted in May, 2015 on Get2theGist)

Explanation of picture is at the end.

Ever heard someone say that they just had to know what their pornography addict spouse was looking at so they went and looked themselves?

I have heard this. A couple of times. 

And each time I thought, "No, no, no." That is not good!

Or, like I've talked about before, there are those addicts who try and get their spouses to participate with them. Which is not good either. 

You don't want those pictures in your head any more than you want them in your spouse's head.

It's like the picture at the top of this post. You can know that there is a box. You can know that there is a deer in the box (see feet sticking out on both ends). You can even know details like that the box is a lawn mower box and that the deer is (obviously) dead.

You might even wonder about what happened.

But don't go looking in the box! That isn't something that you need to see. And will it help you to look at the stiff, stinky, deer? You already know it's a dead deer. Do you really need to see all of the details or smell the stink? Will that help you?

No. No it won't. If anything it might scar you. 

So, please heed my words. Don't go looking at dead deers or pornography. Yuck!

By the way, I saw this box on the side of a road with the feet sticking out. What the crud?  But I DID NOT go look. I took this picture from a safe distance, which is why it is so fuzzy!

UPDATE: There have been many times that my never having seeked out pornography has been a major blessing in my life. Looking at the dead deer will never help you!

What people told me about 50 Shades

A couple of years ago I wrote an article on the 50 Shades Boycott. I also blogged ALOT on the subject. The second movie in the Series, 50 Shades Darker, came out a few weeks ago and I wondered:


How do people really feel about these movies?


So, I interviewed people on the street and asked them. I got some very interesting responses, and ended up doing some looking around to see how the responses compared to the research on the franchise.


You should go check out my article published by Deseret News HERE. Or paste this link into your browser:

  http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865674797/Jenelle-Stone-I-asked-people-on-the-street-how-they-feel-about-Fifty-Shades-Darker-Here7s-what.html

 The article has a link to the video I made from the responses and research.

This plant hasn't lost its sparkle. Literally.

This plant has seen better times. Life has been pretty rough, and I'm sure it doesn't feel like the plant it used to be. Back when it's petals were a little spunkier, it's foliage a little fuller. 

But no matter what, it won't lose it's sparkle/glitter. 

What is your sparkle? 

Sidewalk Ends

Every sidewalk ends at some point. Either ending in a dead end, a wall, or sometimes just undeveloped, uncharted area. And usually you don't expect the sidewalk to end, it just does.

And you find yourself unsure, peeking around the sign to try and figure out how to continue your journey.

What now?

What next?

Shouldn't there be a dang side walk?!

How do I do this?


But seriously, why are we even surprised? EVERY SIDEWALK ENDS. That doesn't mean your path ends, or your journey ends. It just means that you've hit a snag, a conflict, a puzzle, a point where you have to figure out how to continue. It just means you have to work out what to do next. Whether that means braving the rough ground, finding another path, or taking a step back. Or multiple steps.

Everyone pauses when the sidewalk ends. It's natural to experience that moment of "well crud, what do I do now?" But ending sidewalks are a part of life. Otherwise you'd end up just going in circles.

Ending sidewalks will eventually be what gets you somewhere.

When things fall apart . . .