How to plan a political party! Part 1

I love watching news coverage about the presidential race. One of the best parts? The debates. I watch both the Republican debates and the Democrat debates because I like to be informed of where all the candidates stand, whether I ever see a chance of me voting for them or not.

Why am I talking about this? Because a debate is a chance to throw a party. And who doesn't like parties?! 

Celebrate anything you can. Even if it is only your ability to celebrate!

I came up with this little chart to give you ideas for your "political party" food:

:) 

I had fun with this. It was hard! Some of these candidates have names that don't fit with anything. Like Ben Carson. What food to use with him? But he seems sweet, so I guess Jelly Bens works alright. 

I found teddy bear ice cream online and I had to do this for Cruz! Thanks for being called Ted! It added an awesome desert! 

Bush was hard as well. But I saw the Soda Pop and it kind of fell into place. 

Christie's jumped out at me immediately. 

My favorite part of this was the M-egg and Jelly bit. Awesome! 

Any way, it was fun! And watching the debate last night was fun, too!

Now to plan for the Democrat Debate . . . 

It affects you, whether you know or not

A spouse is dealing with their husband's or wife's addiction, even if they don't know about it. Because whether you recognize it or not, if the addiction is there you will react to it.

It's like the Elephant in the room. Even if you don't see the Elephant to know what it is, you will see the crushed furniture, you will smell that beautiful aroma (gross) and you will hear some weird sounds.

Ok, that's a bad example. But it fits. Even if you don't see the addiction to know what it is, you may notice things like moodiness, lack of empathy, you may hear stories that don't quite match up. Things like that.

It may sound weird, but this comforted me a little when I found out about my family member's addiction. Why? Because up until finding out about the addiction there were a ton of seemingly unexplainable things. He would fight with me over the strangest things, he would be moody and get upset over things like me asking if he could grab me a drink of water (when I was sick and pregnant). These things made me feel awful and worried about why our relationship was struggling like that. I hated being growled and grunted at. Yes, growled and grunted at. Literally: GRRRRRRRRRR! A deep, gutteral sound from the stomach... Just a few examples of my personal experience.

Finding out about the addiction was like a puzzle piece for me. An aha moment. The comfort came in knowing that all of those things were NOT NORMAL. That there was a massive influencing factor. That maybe it didn't have to be like that forever.

Because there were even bigger influencing factors, I am no longer in a relationship with this person. But, even so, I am grateful for this knowledge that all of those things that happened before finding out about the addiction were NOT NORMAL. As a friend, a spouse, a parent, a kid, it is good to know that that those kinds of things should not be a part of your relationship. Our relationship was never given a normal chance because the addiction was always a part of it, I just didn't know it. There was nothing normal about our relationship. Which helps me to put things in perspective.

Drunk Dog?

So the other day I passed a homeless man and his dog walking the opposite way that I was. I couldn't help but notice that the dog had a hug bottle hanging from its mouth with some alcoholic drink in it.

The lady walking in front of me said something to the homeless man about the dog. His response was basically to smile and shrug his shoulders.

Like having a drinking dog was the most normal thing in the world.

What?!!!!!!!

Though I suppose this shouldn't be a shocker, right? After all, people excuse away other peoples' actions with a smile and a shrug of the shoulder all the time. So, why not a dog?

We have a world where everyone feels entitled to do whatever they want whenever they want and the rest of us are expected to except their actions as a-ok because it was their choice. This mentality that as long as what you are doing is what you want then you can do no wrong.

Just because someone has the right to make a choice does not make that choice good. There is still right and wrong.

And what people don't understand is that we can still love and care for someone while not supporting their poor choices. You don't have to cheer on someone's decisions to love them.

And what it seems no one in the world understands anymore is that there are consequences. ...like having a drunk, sick dog after letting him drink a bottle of liquor.

So this time it was a dog being smiled and shrugged at. What will it be next time?



Society is going to the dogs. Pun intended.

Happy Monday / the simple things make us happy/ Calamity Jane!!!!!

I thought I'd wish you a happy Monday with this awesome song! (warning: If you know this movie, spontaneous singing may occur. It's that awesome.)

This is one of my favorite musical numbers ever. In this scene from "Calamity Jane," Calamity just got home from Chicago to her small town of Deadwood City. She sings about all of these new and different things that they have Chicago, but in the end she'd rather be in Deadwood. 

Because, while all of those fancy things were fun to see, it's her life in the wild west's small town that makes her happy.

On a side note, I used to work at a store that had a long, wooden counter in it. Cowboy hats lined the wall behind it. Every time I would walk into the store this song would go through my head. So, pretty much every day for the entire time I worked there.

Alert: Scholarship chance for the Bloom Retreat with "Eat My Scabs"

Hey everyone!  A [Spouse of an addict] blog I follow, Eat My Scabs, is preparing for her upcoming Bloom Retreat. I've never been to it, but it sounds great! And peaceful. Who couldn't use a little more peace in their life, right?

Right now there is a link on her blog offering a retreat scholarship to some lucky gal. So, if you are interested, head on over to Eat My Scabs and check out the details. She describes the retreat as a place to "disconnect from all things toxic."

Like I said, I have never been to one of these and I can't recommend something that I don't know much about. I couldn't tell you anything about it except for what I read in her post.  But I figured that I would pass along the information so that if you are interested you can look into it and hopefully enter to win the scholarship. But it doesn't have much time left, so don't wait too long!


Just in case the above links aren't working, follow this:

http://eatmyscabs.blogspot.com/2016/01/scholarship-time.html

Good luck!

I wish I had stood up for the importance of friendship

When I found out about my loved one's addiction I didn't know how to hang out with or even just message friends anymore. I didn't feel like I could talk about the things going on in my life. I didn't want to tell them about that loved one moving out of the house. I didn't want to tell them about the situation that was taking up all of my family's time, money, and energy. I was tired, and I didn't want to talk about the thing that was consuming all of our lives.

And even before I found out about the addiction, my loved one had told me that we didn't need friends. And lets just say that hanging out with friends was not smiled upon.

It is called isolation. And there are reasons that people, many times addicts, would want you to feel isolated.

But, looking back now, I wish that I had stood up for the importance of friendship.

Because friendship is important, too.

Even if you aren't able to hang out with friends as often as you'd like (because, lets face it, life is crazy and busy), it might be helpful to drop them a small "How's it going?" message once in a while. You don't have to spend a ton of time together to keep up a friendship.

At one point, while talking to one of my friends about some of what I was going through, she got this look on her face and then divulged that she was going through a similar thing.

Oh how sad that we could have both pulled from that friendship, yet there we were, both holding in our trials and keeping it to ourselves.

Keep your friends close.                      

(Note: I am really bad at suddenly realizing that it has been years since I have talked to a friend. Years pass quickly, and that's life. So, if you are a friend of mine, maybe take the initiative and send me a letter. :) )

New: $500 DISCOUNT for the LifeStar 6 day Intensive Outpatient Program !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am so excited to post this coupon!!!!!!! We posted a similar coupon last year, and I have been looking forward to doing this again!

Life Star is a therapy network that specializes in treatment for pornography and sexual addiction. I personally think that they are amazing! This year they have agreed to give you a $500 discount towards their 6 day Intensive Outpatient Program.

And, honestly, who couldn't use a $500 discount? Treatment for an addiction is such an important thing, and getting that treatment for a good price is so helpful!

The 6-day Intensive Outpatient program is for pornography and sexual addicts who need a boost in their recovery. For more information on the program, visit: http://www.lifestartherapy.com/take-your-life-back/  .

All you have to do is call 888-980-1600 through February 23, 2016, mention this blog and coupon, and they will give you a $500 discount. How awesome is that!!!

Call the number - 888-980-1600

Visit the website - http://www.lifestartherapy.com/take-your-life-back/

Even if you are just wanting to find out more about the program, give them a call and they'll help you out.

Don't forget to mention the Get to the Gist blog to get your discount. Do it quick, because this offer is only good through February 23, 2016!

Making the best of an awkward situation - Advice from OLAF

During this winter season, I figured we could learn a little from Olaf. Especially since we all have awkward situations to deal with.

"Hang in there, Guys!"

The Resolutely Resoluteness of Resolutions

Happy New Year!

And with the new year comes resolutions, right? Right?

Maybe.

I think lots of people make "New Year's Resolutions" halfheartedly. All you have to do is scan down your facebook page right now to read more than your fair share of resolution jokes. Things like...

... This is the year I will finish the resolutions that I made last year and planned the year before that.

But, resolutions are supposed to be resolute. According to Merriam-webster, resolute means "marked by firm determination." 

And Resolution is supposed to be the completion of something, or the solving of a problem. 

However, in the real world, New Year's resolutions get pushed to the way side all the time. Things happen. Life happens. Plans change and suddenly last year's resolutions are this years again.

It happens.

And then we all feel bummed out. Because here we had this awesome goal and we failed. Whether for good reason or not, it stinks. 

So, think. Are you resolute in your resolution? 

Your resolute resolution should be made resolutely in your resoluteness. 

But be grateful that if at first you don't succeed you can try, try again. 

Take the challenge in stride! Seize the day! Huzzah!!!!!!!!