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Tuesday, December 29, 2015

My Armor

Ever heard the phrase, "Take it with a grain of salt?"

That's pretty much the rule of thumb when talking with a sex addict. At least in my life. I get called all sorts of names and things, I get blamed for everything under the sun.

I take it all with a grain of salt. I'm used to it. Which is bitter sweet. At one point, no one should be used to that kind of treatment. On the other hand, it doesn't reach me any more. Say what he will, I know it isn't true.

My skin is a lot thicker now than it was right after I found out about the addiction. I have an armor on that I hadn't even know I needed before. So, how do you get that armor? How do you get thicker skin?

Don't give in to the lies.

Someone says you aren't worth anything? Don't feel bad for yourself, feel bad for them. What you are seeing is their own insecurities.

All addicts are human, they are not all knowing beings who can evaluate your worth.

NONE OF US ARE QUALIFIED TO EVALUATE ANYONE'S WORTH. Not even our own. Worth is something so great, so far beyond our human comprehension.

In the movies, the soldiers often put on their armor before they get attacked. They prepare. They can see the attack coming and they gear up. They put on their armor, they say their prayers, and they get their family to a safe place.

Unfortunately, I think too many family members of addicts earn their armor after the attack has started. It's disorienting to suddenly find yourself in a war zone, to suddenly realize that you need emotional (and sometimes physical) protection. (Note: I don't ever condone someone staying in a dangerous situation. If you are in danger, get to someplace safe.)

These family members generally earn their armor with each blow. Each mean word, each blame, each lie can scar.

The best way to put on your armor? Pray. Pray for help. Pray for the addict in your life that he or she will find their way to truth and health. Pray for your family. Pray for yourself, to be able to withstand the attacks and to be in a safe place. To be able to make the best decisions.

So, take it from me. Learn from my and your experiences. Don't let in the lies about you. Their addiction is not your fault. You are enough. You are worth it. You have infinite worth. You are beautiful, and you are precious.

Precious is not a word reserved for babies and kittens. You. YOU are precious.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

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