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Thursday, October 22, 2015

If you can't say anything nice...

Ever have someone that just can't be nice to you to save their life?

You can be out of your way, awkwardly nice to them and they are still nasty. In fact, they go out of their way to be mean.

Am I right? Do you know someone like this? To the point where it just isn't a tuesday if you don't get sworn at?

I've known people like this, and usually their behavior reacts like a rollar coaster ride. Up and Down, Up and Down. One day they are swearing at you, the next they are suddenly acting abnormally nice.

You can get whiplash from this kind of thing.

So, what is to be done? How do you surive this kind of onslaught?

From my experience I have learned to do the following things:

1. Smile. Though not sarcastically, and not if it isn't appropriate. But, when the occasion is correct, having a welcoming smile can be good. Don't stoop to their level. Just because they are nasty doesn't mean you have to be as well.

2. Take a deep breath. Pause before you respond.

3. Don't get into a screaming match.

4. Think before you speak. Don't say anyting you will regret later. Everyone respects a person who can handle confrontation with grace. No one respects a person who handles confrontation with petty jabs.

And, in the end, remember that the person who treats you like this is probably not a reliable source for an opinion of you. It is hard to not take someone else's nastiness personally. Especially if it is very blatent. But the simple truth is that the person who can't be respectful to you, also can't be trusted to give an accurate representation of you. If they can't be nice, why would you care what they think?

This is harder to practice than to say. If someone tells you hat you are stupid, you're going to take it personally. Even if you don't believe them. But don't believe them. Someone who is diminished to the point of calling names is not qualified to give a character reference for you.

And, just because, I had to include the following clip. I love Steel Magnolias. Though I have to be in the mood to bawl. 'Cause I do. buckets and buckets of tears near the very end.

If you've never seen Steel Magnolias, and you don't mind crying, go check it out:

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