What is a Relapse?

According to Mirriam-Webster.com:

Relapse:   -The return of an illness after a period of improvement

                 - a return to bad behavior that you had stopped doing

A relapse in a sexual addiction would then be that the addict slipped back into his associated behavior. Looked at Pornography, acted out, etc. etc. etc.

I talked for a moment the other day about how pornography addicts have an arsenal of drugs in their brain because the pornographic pictures are just stored there. So, in all reality, a pornography addict can slip back into his addictive behavior without ever re-looking at pornography. Because it's all right there in their brain. 

The power of thinking, right? Our brains are such powerful tools that can either lift us up or become part of our destruction. It's incredible how dangerous un-checked thoughts can be.

That is part of why I think that pornography addicts should go to a therapist (one that specializes specifically in pornography and sexual addictions) for help. Working through such an at-your-finger-tips addiction needs a high level of help! It can be done! People do work through it and come out stronger in the end. On the flip side, some people don't. They don't work through it and can slip further down in the addiction.

Get the help you need!

The Addict Suffers Too

One thing that has always broken my heart is how much suffering the addict experiences too.

Say What?

No, really. It's sounds crazy because pornography addicts fulfill their addiction in selfish ways. They hurt their spouse, they hurt their family, they can hurt their checkbooks, they can hurt their jobs, etc. etc. etc. They are causing so much pain to others. It's true.

However, when was the last time you saw an addict that was in a good, healthy place?

And, I guess what breaks my heart, they are causing all this pain to others without really getting anything in turn but a momentary high.

It really is sad.

Pornography addiction literally changes the way your brain is wired (another post on this coming soon). It stunts growth in the addict's brain, they experience the addiction cycle, etc. etc. etc.

Realistically, everyone suffers when a pornography and sexual addiction is in the picture.

Note: Saying this does not take away the addict's responsibility to control themselves. How you treat others, acting out, whatever. We have to take responsibility for our own actions.

Happy Pi Day!!!!

Happy Pi Day!

Since Pi = 3.1415...  I thought I'd tell you Happy Pi Day 3.1415 times. Or an approximation of it.

1.         I hope you all have a happy Pi Day!

2.         Have a joyous Pi Day!

3.         Good wishes to you on Pi Day!

.1415.   It's s




You get the point.

Happiness and Feet that look bad - a quote by Julia Roberts

"I don't have the luxury of sitting around any more. I must have had bags of spare time before I had children, but I don't know what I did with it and I didn't appreciate it. But it's such a terrific trade-off. I don't have time to get a pedicure, but I sure am happy. Who cares if your feet look bad? "

-Julia Roberts



I shared this quote because it's a good reminder that true happiness lies beneath otherwise skin-deep issues. Who cares if your feet look bad if you are focusing on the good things in your life?

Watch What You Say

1. Think before you speak
2. Watch what you say
3. Give others the benefit of the doubt.

"Let it Go"

Lots of spouses worry. They stress, they stew. Constantly.

What is he looking at now, who is he texting, has he seen that woman lately, does he think I'm attractive, etc. etc. etc.

Spouses of Addicts worry a lot.

I know this is easier said than done, but: You need to just let it go.

I don't mean to let go your resolve to heal, I don't mean that you should just ignore their addiction, I don't mean that you should condone inappropriate behavior, I don't mean that you should ignore and subject your family to dangerous circumstances, I don't mean you shouldn't ask him where he was, and I don't mean to "Let Yourself Go."

What I do mean is that worrying over things you have no control over will only give you a heart attack. You can't control your husband, you can't control his addiction. Do the therapy necessary to heal yourself, and focus on you and your family's healing. You can be supportive of your husband getting help, you can't control what or how he does with it.

I don't want this to be taken in a wrong way. I am in no way saying to let things go in a way that means you are just ignoring his addiction or to condone it. And I am not saying that you should let the issues go and forget about them. You do have to act and help your family. All I am saying is to give yourself a break from the worry. What good is it going to do you?

Remember I am not a counselor, this is just my observation mixed with advice I have heard in the past.

Can you find me the "Real Deal?"

Scroll to bottom of post for "Ice Cream" Sandwich experiment

Have you ever heard the phrase "The Real Deal?" You know, "Oh, that Johnny is such an honest guy, He's the real deal." Or "Anny got her dream job and she can't believe it's the real deal."

The Real Deal = Legitimate, real, sincere, credible, etc. etc. etc.

So, how do you know something is the real deal? In terms of addiction, how do you know when someone really wants to turn their life around? Or how do you know that a therapy program is legitimate? Or how do you know if a friend is the right friend to tell about your trials?

How do you know when it's "The Real Deal?"

It's all about track records, trust, and results, right? If a friend has proven themselves trustworthy over and over, then you are more likely to trust them. If a therapy program has lots of good reviews and success stories, then you are more likely to attend there.

Proving that an addict really does want to turn his or her life around is much harder. Addiction is sneaky and secretive as a general rule, which makes it hard to ever really know an addict's status. Especially in the world of pornography or sexual addiction. It's not like a sexual addict can be put in a room and kept from his or her heroin dealer and come out clean after a time. A pornography addict's drug is in his head. This makes it really hard to tell when changing is "The Real Deal."

But, sometimes people have striven to prove their desire and fight to change. After a time you can see how they have turned their life for the better, and the good results around them.

Now to the gross part. This last week we did a little experiment with an ice cream sandwich. You see, a while ago we accidentally left an ice cream sandwich out overnight and were surprised at the lack of melting. So this time we are doing it on purpose.

(Note: The times I have marked here are not correct, my camera must not be set correctly. But, for the sake of scientific proof I will include the camera's time stamps)

Step #1: We unwrapped our Meadow Gold Ice Cream Sandwich and put it on a plate on the kitchen counter. MMMMMMMMMMM!
(Feb. 24, 9:20 pm)

Step #2: We waited for just over 4 hours

(Feb 25, 1:32 am)

Step #3: We Waited

(Feb 25, 11:24 am) 

Step #4: We waited for a whole week

(March 3, 10:13 pm)

Step #5: Cut into it

(March 4, 6:37 pm)

Inside was a foamy-type substance. I call it insulation. 

Here you can see finger pokes clearly in the foam.

Resolved: This is NOT real ICE CREAM! Or at least not normal. How could it be? Real Ice Cream would have melted, right?

Conclusion: Meadow Gold Ice Cream Sandwiches are NOT the "Real Deal"

In this life of fake things all around us, shouldn't we be able to rely on our ice cream being real? Or at least able to melt? 

Who's with me! Hu-zahhh!

Ok, that moment of excitement aside, I would like to extend an invitation to the other ice cream sandwich makers out there to prove that their ice cream is "The Real Deal." Even Meadow Gold. If they have another product that can step up to bat and melt, then they should bring it forward.

I'm looking for some real ice cream! Tweet me if you are up to the challenge - @Jenelle_Stone

 #RealDeal-IceCream