Can you find me the "Real Deal?"

Scroll to bottom of post for "Ice Cream" Sandwich experiment

Have you ever heard the phrase "The Real Deal?" You know, "Oh, that Johnny is such an honest guy, He's the real deal." Or "Anny got her dream job and she can't believe it's the real deal."

The Real Deal = Legitimate, real, sincere, credible, etc. etc. etc.

So, how do you know something is the real deal? In terms of addiction, how do you know when someone really wants to turn their life around? Or how do you know that a therapy program is legitimate? Or how do you know if a friend is the right friend to tell about your trials?

How do you know when it's "The Real Deal?"

It's all about track records, trust, and results, right? If a friend has proven themselves trustworthy over and over, then you are more likely to trust them. If a therapy program has lots of good reviews and success stories, then you are more likely to attend there.

Proving that an addict really does want to turn his or her life around is much harder. Addiction is sneaky and secretive as a general rule, which makes it hard to ever really know an addict's status. Especially in the world of pornography or sexual addiction. It's not like a sexual addict can be put in a room and kept from his or her heroin dealer and come out clean after a time. A pornography addict's drug is in his head. This makes it really hard to tell when changing is "The Real Deal."

But, sometimes people have striven to prove their desire and fight to change. After a time you can see how they have turned their life for the better, and the good results around them.

Now to the gross part. This last week we did a little experiment with an ice cream sandwich. You see, a while ago we accidentally left an ice cream sandwich out overnight and were surprised at the lack of melting. So this time we are doing it on purpose.

(Note: The times I have marked here are not correct, my camera must not be set correctly. But, for the sake of scientific proof I will include the camera's time stamps)

Step #1: We unwrapped our Meadow Gold Ice Cream Sandwich and put it on a plate on the kitchen counter. MMMMMMMMMMM!
(Feb. 24, 9:20 pm)

Step #2: We waited for just over 4 hours

(Feb 25, 1:32 am)

Step #3: We Waited

(Feb 25, 11:24 am) 

Step #4: We waited for a whole week

(March 3, 10:13 pm)

Step #5: Cut into it

(March 4, 6:37 pm)

Inside was a foamy-type substance. I call it insulation. 

Here you can see finger pokes clearly in the foam.

Resolved: This is NOT real ICE CREAM! Or at least not normal. How could it be? Real Ice Cream would have melted, right?

Conclusion: Meadow Gold Ice Cream Sandwiches are NOT the "Real Deal"

In this life of fake things all around us, shouldn't we be able to rely on our ice cream being real? Or at least able to melt? 

Who's with me! Hu-zahhh!

Ok, that moment of excitement aside, I would like to extend an invitation to the other ice cream sandwich makers out there to prove that their ice cream is "The Real Deal." Even Meadow Gold. If they have another product that can step up to bat and melt, then they should bring it forward.

I'm looking for some real ice cream! Tweet me if you are up to the challenge - @Jenelle_Stone

 #RealDeal-IceCream

Dreams of the future- Thomas Jefferson

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.



 - Thomas Jefferson at BrainyQuote

How the In-Laws React to Their Kid's Addiction

This subject bothers me quiite a bit. I think because it all boils down to basic kindness. Forget empathy, forget understanding. Basic kindness says that when someone has been ligitimately wronged in one way or another you don't add insult to injury by figuratively spitting in their face.

Some parents/ In-laws get that and some don't. I've heard it go both ways. It is very interesting to see what parents will do when they find out that their kid has an addiction and is harming or breaking up the marriage because of it.

Everytime I hear about an in-laws reaction, it seems to fall under one of two categories. It should be noted that when I generally hear of examples that fall under these two categories, the relationship is going visably sour in some way. Separation, divorce, that kind of thing.

1) The in-laws find out that their kid has an addiction and is harming their marriage and they basically write off the addict's spouse. They blame the addict's spouse for the problem, maybe they claim that the addict's spouse is overreacting, isn't being sympathetic toward their addict kid. If separated the addict's spouse may suddenly not be invited to family parties any more, alternate stories will be told as to why you are having problems or are separated.

Or the opposite:

2) The in-laws find out that their kid has an addiction and is harming their marriage and the In-laws put their foot down. They support their kid, help him to get help, but they are straight forward with the fact that just because their kid messed his relationship up doesn't mean that they as his parents are going to miss out on their grandchildren or daughter(or son) in-law. They tell it how it really is, simultaneously interested in getting their kid help and also keeping a good relationship with the addict's spouse and children.


VERY different stories. I personally think that In-Laws who fall into the first category are more interested in appearances than health, and I think the In-laws in the second category are more interested in health than they are appearances.

I get that a parent will generally support their own child over their child-In-Law. I get that. But then truly support them. Don't skirt around the issues, don't cover them up, and don't mess up your relationship with your child-In-Law and grandchildren just for the sake of pretending that your kid doesn't have a problem.

I love hearing stories about category 2 In-laws, though it seems to me those are much fewer and in-between. But to me, that is strength. Strength is hugging the spouse that your child wronged and saying "I'm sorry my kid put you through this."

I think it's harmful to your addict kid to cover up their addiction an pretend that it isn't a big deal and that the spouse is over-reacting.

Do you have a child who is an addict?

Please fall under category 2.

Your Husband's Pornography Addiction is Not Your Fault

Sometimes a wife will feel like her husband's addiction is at least partially caused by her. That maybe somehow she didn't satisfy her husband in some way.

Then you get some addicts that also think their addiction is partially their spouses fault for the same reasoning.

This is so backwards. So backwards. 

The spouse has nothing to do with it. How can an addict go outside of his or her marriage to get a high and then turn around and say that it is the spouse's fault? 

I found an article on this subject (Link Below) that addresses this situation really well. And one of my favorite points from it is that no matter what a wife does or does not do, it is not a license for the husband to go out and sin against her. As the author points out, turning to pornography is against the basic marriage vow.

But, even if you don't feel that turning away from your wife and turning towards pornography is a sin, it is still THE ADDICTS choice. 

I think I've shared this before, but it's like a therapist once told me: The wife could be a porn star and her husband would still have his porn addiction. Because it's not about the spouse. It's about the addiction  and addiction cycle.

To see this awesome article, follow the link:

https://www.lifesitenews.com/blogs/5-reasons-it-isnt-your-wifes-fault-that-you-use-porn

Proof That Someone Out There Is Still Trying To Make The World A Better Place

Did you know this exists? It exists! Truly. I've never had one, but that's not the point.

Whatever your trials or worries in the world, you can rest easy that there are people still trying to make the world better. Now if they'd only make it with no sugar, no calories, and no fat . . . just a suggestion. :)

Way to go, Taco Bell!

What is a Trigger?

You may have heard someone refer to a trigger as it relates to addiction. What does that mean?

According to http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/trigger it's:

"an event that stimulates initiation of a 

subsequent event or process."

There is also a really good definition of trigger that you can find here: psychologytoday.com . It has some good thoughts on triggers, though I don't know if I agree on the rest of the article. This is not an endorsement of any kind.

So, basically, a trigger is anything that starts a process. So. . . if an addict always turned to his or her computer after being yelled at by their boss then I suppose being yelled at by their boss would turn into their trigger. Or would it be anger or opposition to authority? 

Get the picture, though? An example they give in the article is that hearing a song you used to get high to could be a trigger. It is something that puts them back into their addict mindset.

The first time I heard the term "trigger" in reference to the spouse of an addict, I was confused. What do triggers have to do with the spouses? Aside from "trigger" being a general word that can basically be applied to anything that starts a reaction. 

I learned that spouses of addicts can have their own triggers. For example: if an spouse of an addict sees his wife texting, it could cause him to worry and stress because he's wondering who is on the other end of that conversation? Is it him? The other man? 

Another example: The spouse of an addict and her husband go to a neighborhood pool party and one of their neighbors is wearing a bikini. As a result the spouse stews the whole night about what is going on in her husband's head. Is he focusing on the neighbor?

I learned that recognizing your triggers can help you work through them.

The other day I read an article in which the poster warned that it might not be a good read for survivors of abusive relationships because it could contain triggers. So in other words things that remind them, things that put them back into that mindset.

So that is what a "Trigger" is. 

Dr. Seuss Style

It's Dr. Seuss' birthday!

Yip Yip, Yip Hoo-ray!

It's finally here,

Not tomorrow, to-day!

What interesting stories,

What interesting books,

From the top of Mount Mories,

This guy's off the hooks!

But why take the time?

Why blog about this?

Make up this silly rhyme?

Where's the Get-to-the-Gist!

Why listen my friends,

And I'll tell you what's what.

Dr. Seuss has no ends,

No matter what trials are up.

If you're Sad,

If you're Mad,

If you're Glad,

In a situation Bad,

If you're Bright,

If you're Right,

If you're Tight,

In a horrible Plight,

He's got something to Say,

Something just for you,

So don't go away,

Soon enough we'll be through.

So just stick around friends,

Here's a quote just for you.

-Jenelle Stone 

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go."

-Dr. Seuss






Also, I stumbled across this fun Dr. Seuss page:



http://www.seussville.com/?home#/home