I could see exactly what was going on...

There has been this weed growing on my neighbor's property, right on the edge of mine. Whenever I'd gotten one of these weeds in my yard, I always found it easy to pull. In fact, it is a weed I enjoy pulling because it always comes out super easily. No hard work, no worry, and no mess. 

Well my neighbor's weed was getting pretty big. Luckily it is one of those flat kinds that spiders out along the ground so it wasn't really noticeable unless you happen to walk past it. So even though it was covering a good portion of their side yard, it wasn't too obvious. 

One day I decided that I was going to be a good neighbor, go over there, and just yank the weed up and throw it away in my can. I was excited, knowing that I could get that massive weed up easily.

So there I went, in my black flip flops and yard gloves to pull the weed. I reached my hand down and started pulling up, only to retract my hand quickly. Something had poked me! And not just a little poke, but one that felt like a small bite.

Weird.

But, I dug back in. Pulled up a little more and poke! Ouch!

I realized that little, mean looking pokies were covering the weed. This wasn't the weed I knew from my yard! This wasn't the weed that never gave me any trouble! This was something else. Something I'd never dealt with before, honestly.

But at this point I'd already pulled enough of it up that I was too involved. I had to continue.

The pokies kept slicing through my gloves and dropping down on the ground around me. They were everywhere, raining down from the weed. Which was fun to clean up, let me tell you.

In the end, my black flip flops were pocked with the little pokies that cut into my feet. See the picture above.

I thought I knew what problem my neighbors were dealing with. I thought I knew exactly what was ailing them. It was a trial that I'd conquered many times with ease, and I thought that there yard would yield the same results.

But in the end, I had no idea. And I wasn't equipped to handle their weed. I didn't go in with the right tools, I wasn't dressed to handle it, and I didn't know what I would be facing. I came away with little hurts of my own.

And all because I could plainly see what my neighbors were dealing with and thought I knew how to handle it. 

                                               

Review: Florence Foster Jenkins

Warning: this post is full of spoilers. If you have any interest at all in seeing Florence Foster Jenkins, don't read this post.


So, I was excited to go see the movie Florence Foster Jenkins. It looked fun, interesting, and like one of those "feel good movies."


On the surface, and what I understood from the trailers, is that the movie is about a woman who wants to sing, but can't. Her attempts to sing, however, are inspiring.


The movie itself was visually beautiful. It was also very well made. No expenses spared.


What I didn't realize before I went to see it, is that the whole movie is about her husband's affair. Yes, the WHOLE movie. If it was purely a show about her singing, they could have had it over in 20 minutes. Instead you were either watching her husbands affair, watching other people find out about his affair, seeing the affects of his affair, or wondering about his affair.


Even while she was singing I was thinking, "But what about his affair?!!"


The worst part is that there was no resolution. There was no "I shouldn't have had an affair" or "Wasn't she an amazing woman for working this out with me" or even a "look at all the things I missed out on because I was wrapped up in my affair."


I felt like the whole point in the husband's character was that he felt like he could be completely devoted and in relationships with both his wife and his girlfriend.


If there was any real resolution, I missed it.


The movie was based on real people. However, not all real couples should be broadcast on the big screen.


The movie was not poorly made. The costumes were great, the characters were interesting. Visually, it was a beautiful movie. I also love Hugh Grant and Meryl Streep. There were many times I laughed out loud, there were many times I enjoyed watching the musical parts.


But the overlying message was awful. Even watching Florence's success at living her dream was dampened by also watching her husband's affair.




So... well made, poor message.

The Help

I just finished reading The Help. by Kathryn Stockett. I think it was one of my all time favorite books. Though I wish I had read it before watching the movie, because I couldn't get the movie out of my head. And, I'll admit, I LOVE the movie.


Aibileen, one of the main characters, finds that she has a talent for helping the children she raises to feel good about themselves. If you've seen the movie, you'll remember her saying:


"You is smart,
You is kind,
You is important."


In the book, she recognises that the more someone hears negative information the more they will believe it. She many times hopes that it isn't too late to teach the little girl she is raising about self-worth and respecting everyone.


I think it is never too late to realize your self worth. Or re-realize your self worth. There will always be the "Miss Hillys" who think they know all. I'm sure you personally know at least one "Miss Hilly" who tries his or her best to assign you the value that they made up.


There will always be people that treat you like that.


But, to quote Kathryn Stockett:


“Ever morning, until you dead in the ground, you gone have to make this decision. You gone have to ask yourself, "Am I gone believe what them fools say about me today?”
― Kathryn Stockett, The Help


And then you just have to live by the mantra, "I am smart, I am kind, I am important."


Wonderful, wonderful book.


If you've never read it, go check it out on Amazon:

Ideas to start forgiving your spouse

Do you have a hard time forgiving others? Or does it come easy to you?

Note: forgiving someone does not mean that you turn a blind eye to the situation. And it does not mean you ignore actions. If someone held up a store, the shop owner could forgive them and at the same time try to get a court to order the robber replace what was taken/damaged. And if someone is an abuser, their victims could forgive them and at the same time get a restraining order. 

A while ago I had someone ask me if it had been hard to forgive a person in my life who had done some serious things. Repeatedly. My answer was no. 

Why? Lots of people have a hard time forgiving others. Especially when they've done something serious. So why was it easy for me to forgive?

Because of a couple of reasons 1) I wanted to forgive. I knew that it would help me heal personally, and I knew that I should forgive. So, I wanted to.

2) I felt bad for this person that made these mistakes. Sure, it was their choice and it was their decision. But I felt bad for all the pain he was causing himself.

3) Grudges aren't worth my time. 

Last Friday I had an article come out on KSL.com, titled: 5 ways to begin to forgive your spouse. I interviewed Lois Haroldsen from loisharoldsen.com and LifeStar and she had some great things to say.

Go check it out for help in forgiving.

 Click here or follow this link: http://www.ksl.com/?sid=41408880&nid=1009&title=5-ways-to-begin-to-forgive-your-spouse